Ace Reilly Get’s Smoked

There are times in your life when you need a good swift kick in the ass!
I can remember back as far as a high school football practice, and that says a lot
since I was hit so much in my fight career, when I applauded Asst. Coach Costello for
kicking this goof off of a player in the behind, because he thought he had put one
over on the head coach. The entire team was elated that this imitation of a football
competitor finally received his just desserts.
I received the kick I deserved this morning and my butt is still sore. I received
a blunt comment, in no uncertain terms, that my fitness blog is here to help readers in the
field of exercise, and that my political opinions are for another venue. This smart advice
dropped yours truly better than any left hook I have ever been hit with, and will be well
heeded. We all need a wake up call occasionally, but make certain they are very few and
far between. Keep on punching and spread the fitness word my personal training buddy
in Syracuse!!! Yours in health, “The Fighting Fireman”

One Legged Squats

I wanted to get this one out there today because it is such a formidable exercise, and really hits the butt and the quads. Throw in some cross-over lunges and a minute of mountain climbers, and you will make your butt sing. For the single leg squat, I recommend keeping your hand of the non-working leg on a support and simply squat to ninety degrees. All other applications of the squatting exercise apply. Making sure the knee doesn’t go in front of the toe is imperative, since this is such an isolated exercise. Ten repetitions for each limb as you alternate for three sets is sufficient. If time is extremely scarce, just complete one set to failure. Remember, failure is when your muscle cells are so exhausted you couldn’t possibly perform another repetition without using good form. At Absolute Intensity good form and posture is a must when working out.

If time permits, add some cross-over lunges to this routine (to increase definition in the legs and work your hip rotation). No equipment is needed — other than a support — and at Absolute Intensity we offer and encourage the least time consuming, most beneficial exercises available…on account of the due diligence of our instructors. We guarantee a perfectly sculpted butt, or we’ll give you your old body back.

Yours in health,
“The Fighting Fireman”

Bulldog Larry’s Turkey Ride Nov. 20th

Once again “Bulldog Larry Dean” and beautiful wife Blanche are promoting the Turkey Ride to combat Multiple Sclerosis. Blanche has battled MS for 19 years, and she once again takes to the trails to help others in their fight against this formidable disease. Larry promises to make this a Turkey Ride you will never forget… OR he will clean your house for a week! I’m predicting no houses will have to be cleaned, and that you’ll be feeling euphoric when the course is completed. Sure, you’re legs will be screaming for mercy, but isn’t that what it’s all about? The date for the big event is Sunday, November 20th, at Earth Fare, Briar Dale Shopping Center – 10341 Moncrieff Road, Raleigh NC 27617

For 50 mile distance: sign in 9am roll out 10 am
For 25 mile distance: sign in 10 am roll out 10:30 am

Cost $30 before November 10……..$40 after November 10 and day of event
Registration fee includes: Police Department support, stocked rest stops, DJ Merv and Pumkin Pie.
Bring 4 non-perishable food items and be entered to win Thanksgiving Turkey.

To sign up, please go to TEAM MSFITS 3RD ANNUAL TURKEY RIDE REGISTRATION

Larry “The Bulldog” Dean available for photos, if time permits.

This is a fantastic event that I highly recommend.

By Coach Reilly

The Health Club Pretzel Man

I do not want to talk about the salty snacks you eat when hungry, but the guy I see at the gym everyday about noon. You could set your watch by this unusual work out guru. The only thing he uses the equipment for is to brace his body for a more intricate stretch. I must admit that now that I’m arthritis riddled, I’m kind of jealous. This eccentric dresser (wears old sweats from the 1950’s exclusively) says not a word to anyone, but rather than go off into the unoccupied gym, he insists on stretching in the middle of traffic, to show off his flexibility. He can literally contort himself into a pretzel, and his elongations become so outrageous that he shows off body parts not really meant to be seen. I mean, the flesh is clothed, but it is still rather uncomfortable being lined up with a split wide crotch, while the same person has their eyes staring you in the face.

No one I socialize with at the gym (virtually everybody) knows his name, but he is definitely not absolute intensity material. All he ever does is stretch himself into oblivion, and never utilizes the machines or free weights. He does break a sweat from his one hour of stretch, and there is not one fiber on his body that does not get elasticized. I’ve yet to see a female approach him, and most make it a habit of taking a detour around his twisted frame. He does switch stretching venues if he wants more company. He’ll curl up to the cable machine like a cat to the couch, and slither around it like a snake on a tree, but won’t utter a word no matter how many human beings he unnerves. Whether he likes it or not, he is known as the health club pretzel man, but you will never find him at Absolute Intensity fitness. Coach Reilly guarantees it!

The Sexy Gym Girl

She arrives daily dressed to kill. The outfits she wears are certified gym wear, but must be form fitted to look that good. Every asset she has is hugged tightly to the spandex lycra material. Her name is Vixen, and I only know that because the male personal trainers always greet her with that name. It is hilarious to watch them falling all over each other, trying to manage a date or a tete a tete. Even the married trainer gives it his best shot. The other trainers rat him out as soon as he is out of earshot. They want her luscious limbs all for themselves, and two almost came to blows, as they tried to outdo one another in the fitness knowledge department. As they continued with their quest to win her affection, a buffed up muscle guy sauntered in, and she made a bee line for the weight station where he planted himself. The battling personal trainers were both baffled and exploited by the pretty red headed beauty who ruined their friendship.

I watched them awkwardly try to rekindle some civility toward one another, while their prize zeroed in on the muscle guy. This would never have taken place at absolute intensity because our trainers (my wife and I) would never permit it. The absolute intensity gym clothing makes even the not so buff look spectacular. I scanned the gym and saw a few other muscle guys making their moves on the sexy gym girl, who didn’t seem too impressed with the original muscle guys teeth and toupee up close.

These morons were making fools of themselves and didn’t realize it. This is what severe bouts of male testosterone does to males, when the sexy gym girl comes to the club. She doesn’t work out, but merely saunters around and stretches provocatively for the mirrors. Thank God for genetics, her parents must be studs.

All hell broke loose when a short fellow named Mario patted her on the butt cheeks, because he couldn’t control himself. Talk about sexual harassment. The muscle guys looked like the gorilla brigade as they chased Mario around the gym. The squatty little sucker had them tripping all over themselves, and made it out of the gym confines alive and running. With my exercise completed I gave the chic sexy gym girl a smile, and made my way to the car, where I caught a glimpse of ten weight lifters furiously trying to chase down a squatty little guy.

By Coach Ace Reilly

…………. “The Beauty” and “The Coach”………………

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